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03/31/2004: "Revenge of the Gnomies"
I mentioned a few weeks back that the Gnomies have always enjoyed messing around with me. Shortly after the script incident I mentioned in a previous blog, I also had a rubber chicken incident. The play I was doing a staged reading for (What Would Jesus Do) needed a Rubber Chicken as a prop, and of course, I was proud to stick my hand up when the Director asked "Does anybody here own a rubber chicken?".
Not so proud, however, when I went to look for the rubber chicken, and found it missing. Now, I am a messy guy, but also organised inside my head in a way. Also very visual, so when I try to find something, I close my eyes, and "see" it in the last place it was. Of course, this often fails to work, and I get quite annoyed when reality doesn't live up to the pictures inside my head! This was just such a case, I knew exactly where the chicken should be, but it point-blank refused to be there. After a while of thrashing around the house and complaining how disorganised my things are, I gave up and resigned myself to failing as the "Rubber-Chicken" provider.
A month or so later, I was in the back yard, and happened to glance up. There, sticking out of the gutter, was the unmistakable silhouette of a pair of rubber-chicken feet. I'm not sure just how long he had been hiding up there, as it was quite easy to spot. So, how did the rubber chicken get on the roof? All the usual suspects deny everything, except the gnomies, who are just taking the fifth....
Replies: 3 Comments
On Wednesday, March 31st, at 13:41 PST, Jamie Osborne said:
I see this kinda thing all the time... I have a theory that it got stuck during a bungled attempt to rescue the ironing board…
It is quite likely that it climbed up there looking for a way into the roof cavity, so it could nibble through the screws holding the ironing board captive to the ceiling below. Probably didn’t realize until too late that its cunning escape plan would not work because chickens can’t fly… Furthermore, it seems likely that it hadn’t read the news that the ironing board had made its escape several months earlier. (You’ll note that I’m not even going to mention that nibbling at the steel screws without teeth would have been a very ineffective means of breaking through them.)
As I say though, this kinda thing happens all the time… Chickens are incredibly dumb like that. Very loyal to their friends the ironing boards, but generally very slow on the uptake, and couldn’t plan a root in a brothel I’m afraid. Take this as a lesson from someone who’s learned the hard way. If you ever leave your life in the hands of a rubber chicken, you’re in for a whole world of pain.
On Thursday, April 15th, at 18:11 PST, the princess said:
You will be interested to know that we have indeed pinpointed the chicken dissappearance to a window of a few hours. While browsing photos of Jamie's Beat the Bar going away party I noticed a very strange show of the chadelier where our friend the rubber chicken resides. he was in fact there at around 7pm after the sun had set. In a shot the next morning of a very hungover jamie there is No CHICKEN!!! So, I think we can chock this up to the chicken not just being dumb, but perhaps drunk! Chickens need to have fun too. So there!! 
On Monday, April 19th, at 15:21 PST, Chris Tann said:
Chicken-Rescue Update.
Good news! The rubber-chicken has finally been rescued, and has resumed his regular perch on the Chandelier. Many thanks to Russ Marcel, official rubber-chicken rescuer!
