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01/20/2004: "Evolution of the species - are my teeth highly evolved?"
I went for my regular dental visit today, and my dental hygienist said to me "You should leave your teeth to science when you die". I take that as a compliment (and she later told me that I would live a long and healthy life - though I'm not sure if she was just feeling bad about talking about my death! 
). and I guess I am officially scientifically "interesting". A weirdo, a mutant, a freak. But you all knew that already, right? 
So, here is a voyage into the dental world of Chris Tann...
So, what is so interesting about my teeth? Well, first off, digging into my teeth is kind of like an archaeological excavation. I have had dentistry work done in three continents and five countries, each of which has their own peculiarities. And, having moved around a lot, I have never had a dentist that actually knows my dental history, until now. I have been visiting Doctor Kent Hiura for seven years now, and I think he always enjoys my visits, as there is usually something fun to be done!
When I first visited him many years back, he did a survey of my teeth, and found several problems. Most of these were the usual cavities (yes, I have not evolved enough to have teeth that are impervious to decay), but there were also several man-made anomalies in my mouth!
- I have very white patches on two of my front teeth, which are apparently from over-fluoridation. Now they first started putting fluoride in the water in Australia right about the time I was conceived. Do countries still do that? If people need more fluoride, then stick it in the toothpaste, not the water! These patches are softer than the surrounding enamel, and tend to pick up stains very easily. I drink a lot of black coffee, and so they were turning brownish when I was in England. My dentist there gave them a good polishing, and strangely enough, they no longer seem to pick up stains.
- I had a root canal in France, and the dentist had forced the filling in so hard, that there were actually traces of filling material right into my jaw-bone, which showed up clearly on the X-rays. Doctor Kent actually called his staff into the examination room to take a look at that one.
- I had a root canal in Austria. Well, I had two root canals in Austria - I had to go to the emergency clinic on a Sunday, and they gave me a root canal on the wrong tooth, so I had to then go back and have a root canal on the right one. One of these (I think the healthy tooth that the did the root canal on) had an extra canal, which they missed, and so one of the first dental procedures I had done in the US was to have the last canal cleaned out.
So, enough of the man-made weirdness in my mouth, as that obviously has nothing to do with evolution (at least not in the terms of this discussion). What genetic weirdness is going on?
- I have large canines. OK, they are not Dracula sized, but are definitely pronounced - to the point where when I was teaching theatre in schools, I was asked several times by children whether I was a vampire or not! 
- I have no wisdom teeth. No signs of them at all. I was pretty excited when I discovered this, as it seemed to me an obvious sign that I was "homo-superior", having discarded this vestigial teeth. My dentist was less impressed, because apparently it is fairly common, and rumoured to be becoming more frequent, though I have not been able to track down any actual figures).
- I have at least one maxillary molar with two distal canals. Normally, the upper molars have three roots, and the lower molars have just two, but in my case, the "Maxillary Second Permanent Molar" on the left side has four roots. Not sure what this means from an evolution point of view, but hey, at least its different!
This has all inspired me to do some more research, starting with asking my other family members a little more about their teeth. But I also want to do a little more investigation into my own, and perhaps chart exactly what is going on in my mouth. Don't be surprised if you find my head pickled at the Smithsonian institute in a few hundred years time! 
Replies: 4 Comments
On Wednesday, January 21st, at 12:48 PST, susannah said:
For your dental research for what it's worth....
Orthodontics were VERY trendy as was "toungue thrust therapy" in Palo Alto in the 80's. I remember my older brother and sister with braces, teeth pullings, positioners, head gear, rubber bands, retainers and little stickers all over the place with "wyt" "where's your tongue" growing up. always a bit of a late bloomer ( shut up) I lost my last baby tooth at 12 I think, and reaped in a whopping $2 bill from the tooth fairy. I have a very narrow jaw and they wanted to pull teeth to fix my severe overbite and crowded lower jaw in 5th grade. Mom said absolutely not, she needs all the teeth she was intended to have. so they tried braces for 2 years on me. They then tried a permenant retainer cemented in the bottom inside of my jaw but my teeth continues to move back to where they were and eventually we ran out of money and patience and to a certain extent faith that my teeth were any less stubborn than the rest of me. I got cavities under sealents that were supposed to prevent them, I had only 3 wisdom teeth I think, removed all at once and I have had several cavities filled but other than that, considering I don't really take that good care of them they seem to leave me alone. Maybe teeth are metaphors for your life. Like Phrenology only with your teeth instead of bumps on your head? In that case I would say you are difficult, and even though you tend to have more roots than others, you are none the less ever on the move. Stuff sticks to you and though you are a pain, you are pretty essential.Anyway, thanks for sharing your freakish teeth stories.
On Thursday, January 22nd, at 23:49 PST, Nobby said:
Yes Mr Beige, me again.
Just a note re: 3rd last parra. I gather 'homo-superior' referrs to your 'giving' rather than 'receiving' nature? Also may I point out that by having less teeth in your mouth you could also eat more salami 
On Thursday, April 15th, at 03:23 PST, Leslie said:
I too have no wisdom teeth. So you have met your your "superior" equal. I have had several things done to my mouth as well...not as horribly grotesque as your ordeals..but none the less expensive. When I was five i had a metal bar that ran across the back of my mouth to spread my top row of teeth wider. My mouth was like at a 45 degree angle with the origin being my two front, s p a c e d out teeth. Although I believe my upper teeth alteration was a huge success, there was another problem added...the bar across my tongue had gashed it at one point. I do not remember when this happened, or even remember that it happened, but I have a large gash scar that runs down the left side of my tongue. I can pull it apart a little, but it really doesnt hurt. With the gash on my tongue I also had a huge gap between my two front teeth about the width of two functioning drinking straws...I was a hideous kid. The reason my teeth were so far apart was because the little peace of skin that connects the inside of your lip to the top of the middle of your gum was protruding down below my gum line..like it was between my two front teeth a little bit. So the doc had it cut out..ouch. Then in like the end of elementary school..not middle school or high school, i got braces. My bottom teeth were A oK, so they remained unbothered; Except for the weird cavity on one of the bottom front teeth that had a cavity that was not my fault for some reason because of the way it grew..I don't know. After that...in 6th grade I got my braces off and I got my very first retainer. It lasted about 3 or 4 years...I had to wear it EVERY NIGHT OR MY TEETH WOULD SERIOUSLY SPREAD APART OVER NIGHT TO HALF THE SIZE OF THE ORIGINAL GAP! It sucked! Then I lost it..yeah...but my next retainer glew in the dark...and the only way to make it do that was to hold my mouth up to a light bulb...when else would it get enough ligh? I was a dork! My third retainer was plain and simple, but my next one would be my greatets lost. It was one of those cool clear ones that you could acctually talk in! I even wore it to school! YAY! The dentist had told me a while back that I had 3 options with dealing with my s p a c e d out teeth...1)deal with it 2)get the clear retainer (which I chose first) or 3) Have them held together with a piece of metal, glued to the back of each tooth. Well...I loved the clear one...until one day I lost it in a friend's boyfriend's car. Naturally I could not ask him if I could come over to search his car for my nerdy retianer (by this time I was 17 years old, a Junior in high school). So..I went to the Dentist and lied about how the retainer I really liked deep down, was just horribly uncomfortable and I think I should go with the metal wire after all. Now..lets fast forward to my second year of college (spring 2004); I thought I should have an exray done by an adult dentist since i was too old to see my pediatric dentist any more. I went to have the exrays done, and the first images were lost in the compuer. The second images that were taken were black and white: I have no wisdom teeth. Not a one. The doc said "Leslie, I guess you lucked out!" Yes I did.
On Thursday, April 15th, at 15:10 PST, Chris Tann said:
Hey Leslie,
Thanks for sharing! 
Glad there are other no-wisdom-teethers out there...
